This week we rejoin Coyote on the Road of Trials. When last we saw him, he was in the process of escaping the cave and his time in the ashes…
Glad to find that he was not dead, Coyote looked up to see what had become of the dancers. The cavern was empty. All that remained of the fire were the dying embers. The tribe of two-leggeds was gone, and with them the haunting music. Not knowing what to do next, he decided to leave the cave, but as he turned to go back the way he came, he saw that the path behind him was blocked. The opening was no longer there!
In a panic, he ran around the chamber looking for a way out. As his eyes adjusted to the dim light of the embers, he spied an opening on the other side of the embers, and he made his way towards it.
The passage was narrow, and he had to crawl to make his way down. It seemed to go on forever. Just when he was at the point of thinking that coming into the narrow tunnel had been a mistake, he saw a faint glow at the other end of the passage. Steeling himself for what might lie ahead, he continued to crawl towards the light. It grew brighter and brighter, until he found himself outside of the cave, standing in a valley.
There in front of him was White Buffalo Woman. Her right hand held the torch of magical fire. She greeted him once again, and they both sat down on the snow-covered ground while she kindled a fire with her torch. The fire was bright. The snow reflected the light of the flames, giving the landscape a beautiful yet ghostly appearance. Coyote watched the light of the fire twinkling and reflecting off the new-fallen snow. As the fires blazed, she began to teach him about the road of trials ahead.
The Road of Trials: Ashes Time
“He who angers you conquers you.”
-Elizabeth Kenny
The Road of Trials begins with what the poet Robert Bly calls “Time in the Ashes,” or “Ashes Time.” Spending time in the ashes leads one to realize that sometimes things get worse before they get better. As the spiritual seeker’s old identity is stripped away in the Belly of the Whale, there is nothing yet with which to replace it. To a spiritual seeker, this katabasis may feel like the end of the world. Sometimes it manifests as a sense that one’s entire life has been meaningless up until this point. Author Richard Bach, in his bestseller Jonathan Livingston Seagull, describes this feeling best:
“I gave my life to become the person I am right now. Was it worth it?”
This knowledge leads to the feeling that one’s life is out of control. Feeling out of control can lead to anger, especially regarding our relationships with other people. When we feel out of control we most often take it out on the people we care the most about. This is often the first step on the Road of Trials.
We often forget, however, that if someone has the ability to anger you, then that person just controlled you. If you allow others to “make” you feel angry, you have relinquished control over your own emotional well-being. Similarly, anger is often the result of failed attempts to control others. By analyzing our beliefs about control, we learn to manage our moods so that control is no longer an issue on the Road of Trials.
Once there was a sculptor who was famous for his carvings of animals. Of all the animals he carved, his elephants were the most lifelike and inspiring. One day an art student came to him and asked him the secret to creating such beautiful elephants.
“The answer,” he said, “Is simple. You just get a block of marble and chip away anything that doesn’t look like an elephant.”
When difficulties arise in our relationships, it’s usually because we’ve set out to carve an elephant, but we suddenly find ourselves carving a bear or a donkey or some other animal instead. When this happens, we’ve gotten caught up in the details of living, and we have lost sight of our original goal, the elephant. The way to get back to carving the elephant is to realize that we cannot control others. We also cannot control what life throws at us. What we can control is what we believe about what life throws at us. That ability to change our beliefs to get the results we want is the secret to escaping the cave.
Share Your Thoughts on the Road of Trials!
Have you walked your own road of trials? What was the experience like? Share your thoughts in the comments below!