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The Litany Against Fear

Litany Against Fear Dune Peninsula Tacoma

I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.

Litany Against Fear from Frank Herbert’s Dune

Frank Herbert’s science fiction classic Dune is enjoying a revival due to the success of the movies by director Denis Villeneuve. The Litany Against Fear highlighted above is from the original novel. Hidden within this litany from science fiction author Frank Herbert is a key principle of mindfulness.

Most emotional aggression is the result of some type of fear, whether we are willing to admit it or not. The Litany against Fear is a great way to conquer this fear by conquering the conflict within ourselves. By turning within we are able to live in True Self and achieve a life of consistent positive consequences. Let’s examine how this works, line-by-line from the litany above:

“I will face my fear.”

Emotional aggression is usually the result of an attempt to avoid fear or to make our fear someone else’s responsibility. The natural tendency is to avoid danger by attempting to avoid the fear. This sometimes causes us to lash out in emotionally aggressive ways. But if we are able to turn and face the fear, we begin to see that it is not some all-powerful monster.
One way to do this is by ‘breathing into’ the fear. To do this, start a mindful breathing exercise by focusing only on your breath. Next, leave Doing Mode and enter Being Mode by letting go of the desire to run away from the fear. Simply breathe, relax, and greet the fear with open acceptance.

“I will permit it to pass over me and through me.”

By turning to face the fear and by breathing into it, we are not trying to engage in avoidance behavior or ruminating cycles. The goal here is to accept that the fear is already here. It is letting go of anticipation and realizing that the fear cannot touch us unless we choose to allow it to. By coming to this realization, we leave Thinking Mode and enter Sensing Mode, letting the fear wash over us like a wave. As it passes over and through us, it has no power over us unless we let it.

“And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.”

As the fear passes through and we move from Thinking Mode to Sensing Mode, we engage our inner observer to focus on the path that the fear has traveled. What is this path? It is the path of the ruminating cycle. The ruminating cycle began with a trigger, so by turning our inner eye to see the path, we are able to trace it back to the source: The trigger that acted as a catalyst. Remember, the goal isn’t to try to change anything here. We’re just using Sensing Mode to observe and describe the path that the fear has taken.

“When the fear has gone there will be nothing.”

Fear does not exist, except in the mind. Danger may exist in our external circumstances, and that danger may be very real, but fear is an emotional response to danger. We choose to be fearful. The good news is that we may also choose not to be fearful. When we trace the fear back to its point of origin we are able to create a different, less fearful response, or to choose to simply sit with the fear until it subsides on its own, without feeling the need to try to do something to stop it.

“Only I will remain.”

Once you have done this exercise by reciting the Litany Against Fear, you may come to find that the fear is no longer a problem. When you have faced your fears by standing as close to the ‘fire’ as possible, you may come to know that fear cannot touch you unless you choose to let it. Anxiety cannot touch you unless you choose to let it. Depression cannot touch you unless you choose to let it.

Even if the fear remains, with mindful awareness you may come to realize that you do not have to ‘do’ anything about it. You can choose to simply ‘be’ with it instead.

When you are able to do this regularly, you will have found a way to conquer your fears in a consistent manner.

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Mindful Walking

mindful walking the coyote walk

Mindful Walking utilizes mindfulness and ecopsychology as emotional regulation skills. This is especially true if you are able to do this exercise outdoors. Mindful walking may be used to de-fuse potential emotional aggression. If you feel that one of your triggers has been activated, and you can take a break, go outside and do a little mindful walking!

The goal of a mindful walking exercise is to increase self-awareness by focusing on the sensations your body experiences while walking. Your brain takes in about 2 billion bytes of information per second. Of all this information being taken in, you are usually only conscious of about 4000 bytes of this information. This Mindful Walking exercise helps you to learn to become more consciously aware by learning to focus on only one thing at a time. By being present in the moment, we learn to let go of worries about the past, and anxieties about the future.

It is preferable to do this exercise outdoors if possible, but if necessary you may also do the exercise indoors. You may wish to make a recording of it for your mp3 player so that you may take it with you while you walk, or you can watch the video below to get a good idea of the process. the video below is for the Coyote Walk Meditation, a type of mindful walking that we use in our Ecospirituality Program.

Mindful Walking Instructions

Read over the instructions below, then try it on your own:

  • Start by standing with your feet about shoulder width apart, with your weight evenly distributed. Your hands should hang loosely and freely by your side. Gaze at the ground about five or six feet in front of you. Don’t focus your eyes on anything…just allow your eyes to relax.
  • Center yourself before beginning to walk by taking a few deep breaths before beginning to walk. Don’t begin to walk until your attention and intention are focused on the moment. Shift from Doing Mode to Being Mode.
  • When you are ready, slowly lift your right leg in preparation for taking the first step.
  • As you step, focus on feeling every muscle in your leg. Note what each muscle is doing as you move. Don’t hurry the step. Just allow yourself to experience all the sensations that your leg is giving to you. Step forward until your right foot makes contact with the ground. Notice how your foot makes contact with the surface.
  • Did your heel touch first, or was it your toes?
  • Did you feel the pressure of contact first with the inside edge of your foot, or with the outside edge?
  • Now as you begin to bring your left foot forward for another step, notice how the weight changes on your right foot. Is it changing from heel to toe, or the other way around? Where do your feet feel the pressure? Can you feel the pressure move across your right foot as you make the next step?
  • Now as you bring your left foot forward to make contact with the ground, repeat the procedure. Note how the pressure and weight change over your left foot and leg as you prepare to make another step with your right foot.
  • Continue on, walking in the same manner, paying attention only to the way your body moves as you continue to walk. Focus only on the sensations your body continues to give you.
  • At times you may find yourself becoming distracted. If you notice a fragrance on the breeze, or if an animal crosses your path, or if you hear a bird singing, your mind may wander from the sensations of walking. If this happens, simply stop walking until your attention returns to you.
  • Sometimes the distractions are not in the environment, but in your mind. If thoughts and feelings take your mind off of the walking, then once again, stop walking until your mind returns to focusing only on the walking.
  • Remember that the goal of this exercise is to practice paying attention to only one thing at a time, and one thing only. If you feel tempted to begin thinking about the past or the future, stop walking until your thoughts and feelings return only to the sensations of the walking.
  • As you continue to practice Mindful Walking as part of your daily routine, your mind will become more calm and relaxed. Mindful walking is something that you can practice at any time during the day whenever you need a quick break from doing.
  • As you continue to practice focusing on only one thing at a time, you we gain more control over your own thoughts and feelings. You will become less prone to periods of overwhelming emotions and thoughts. You will also learn to experience the joy and the happiness within you.
  • Continue your walk, directing your attention only to the sensations of your walking. As you come to an end to this mindful walking meditation, slowly take your last step, and come to a stop, resting comfortably where you stand.
  • End the meditation by taking a few deep breaths and expanding your awareness to the environment around you. You may wish to do a mindful meditation during your mindful walking exercise as well.

Use the Mindful Walking meditation whenever you have the opportunity to take a quick break; especially if you find yourself experiencing anxiety or depression. Strong emotions can lead to emotional aggression, and you can de-fuse such ruminating cycles by shifting from Doing Mode into Being Mode. Mindful Walking helps you to do this by taking energy out of the thinking cycle and shifting it into the sensing cycle.

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Consequences and Letting Go

Ecospirituality

Consequences and letting go is about recognizing the choices we make that lead to consequences we don’t want to experience. Such choices have a tendency to be self-sustaining. That is because we usually make choices in the belief that those choices will make the problem better. But if we continue to make choices that we know aren’t going to make the problem better, then we’re going to continue to get the same results over and over again. The attempted solution to the problem instead makes the problem worse.

One way to get different consequences is to practice letting go. Letting go leads to radical acceptance. That is, if you are faced with a consequence you cannot change, then the only alternative is to accept that this situation cannot be changed. The first step to letting go is to ask ourselves, “What is the worst thing that can happen in this situation?”

This doesn’t mean that we’re asking for the purpose of minimizing or denying concerns. It means that we’re asking this question so we can really figure out what we’re having difficulty accepting. Our fears are usually worse than the reality in situations like this. In some cases, our fears of the worst thing happening might actually be worse than if the worst thing actually did happen.

Once you’ve figured out what the worst thing is, next ask yourself, “Am I prepared for the worst thing? If not, can I accept the worst thing?” If you find that the answer is that you are not prepared for the worst thing, then the next step is to prepare yourself for the worst thing. In many cases where emotional aggression is an issue, the ‘worst thing’ involves other people. If the ‘worst thing’ is that someone else might gain the upper hand, or that someone else might be right, or even that someone else might even leave you, honestly ask yourself, “If this person is going to leave me, and I’m so stressed out about that possibility that I’m acting out in emotionally aggressive ways, would their leaving really be a bad thing?”

Another thing to ask n this situation is, “Am I so worried about this person leaving me that my behavior is actually going to be the reason that this person leaves me?”

Next ask yourself, “Can I live the rest of my life this way if nothing changes? Who has the power to change it?” Note that in this case, ‘changing it’ doesn’t mean trying to get the other person to change. Changing it in this case means either changing yourself or ending the relationship. If you attempt to change the other person, you’re back to engaging in emotional aggression.

If you are having difficulty in accepting a consequence, answer the questions below about the consequence you’d like to change. Remember that the only way to change the consequence is indirectly, by changing the belief and the choice that led to the consequence. If the consequence has already happened, the only alternative left is to accept it and to make different choices the next time so you don’t get a similar consequence.

Questions to Ask Yourself about Consequences and Letting Go

Think about a consequence that you’d like to re-evaluate. It may help to write it down.

Now answer the question, “What is the worst thing that can happen in this situation?” Focus on what you’re afraid might happen if you attempted to change the consequence by making a difference choice the next time. What we’re focusing on here is the consequence after the consequence. If you react negatively to a consequence, then you’ve just created another consequence that is also likely to turn out negative.

Next, answer the question, “Am I prepared for the worst thing?” This question is designed to ask if you have used all of your mindful skills to help you cope should the worst thing happen. Think of which coping skills from previous sessions might help you to find a way to prepare for the thing that you are afraid might happen. If the worst thing has already happened, ask yourself which coping skills might be used to help you to accept what has happened so that you can move on without acting in such a way that you get even further negative consequences.

The next question, “If not, can I accept the worst thing?” involves ways to let go of the consequence without feeling the need to act in an emotionally aggressive way, thereby getting yet another negative consequence. Think about the consequence you are evaluating and see if accepting the ‘worst thing’ in this scenario might help you to find a way to let go. If the consequence has already happened, remember that you can’t change what’s already happened, so there’s really nothing to let go of. All you can do is to engage in ‘damage control’ so that you don’t make the situation worse.

The question, “Can I live the rest of my life this way if nothing changes?” helps to re-set your perception filter by focusing on the assumptions that led to the consequence. Let’s break that down a bit.

Consequences are the result of choices. If you’ve just experienced a negative consequence, ask yourself what choices you made that led to the negative consequence. Then ask yourself what might have to change in order to avoid getting a similar consequence the next time. Remember to keep the focus on what you have the power to change, and avoid ‘musterbating’ by avoiding the temptation to say what others should have done or could have done.

This leads to the final question, “Who has the power to change it?” If the answer to this question involves anyone else but yourself, then the only choice you have is to accept that the consequence is beyond your control. In that case, you will have to accept that this is just the way things are (mindful awareness) or change the way you think about it so that you may focus on the aspects of it that you do have the power to change.

Those aspects that you have the power to change are those choices that you made that led to the consequence. If the consequence was the result of something someone else did and you truly couldn’t have made any choice yourself that would have led to a different consequence, then the only remaining choice is to end the relationship. This is especially true if the consequence you experienced involved being abused in some way. In such a situation, no choice that you made led to the consequence of being abused. There is never any justifiable reason for abuse, and it is never the victim’s fault. In a situation where the consequence was abuse, the choice is to seek help immediately or to find safety as quickly as possible, and to set firm boundaries so that it never happens again.

Consequences and Letting Go List

For the sake of brevity, here’s a bullet list of questions to ask yourself when evaluating consequences. Evaluating consequences in this manner facilitates letting go.

What is the worst thing that can happen in this situation?

Am I prepared for the worst thing?

If not, can I accept the worst thing?

Can I live the rest of my life this way if nothing changes?

Who has the power to change it?

The final lesson of Consequences and Letting Go is that you cannot change others. You can only change yourself. Remember that and letting go becomes easier. You can also download the worksheet below for practice in letting go.

01.12-Letting-Go-Worksheet-and-Diary-CardDownload
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MBE Program Reset Scheduled March 20, 2024

Mindfulness-Based Ecotherapy Facilitator Certification Course

This is a notice for everyone who enrolled in the Mindfulness-Based Ecotherapy Facilitator Certification Program.

To comply with new standards set by the National Board for Certified Counselors (NBCC), we will be performing a re-set of the course program for the Mindfulness-Based Ecotherapy Facilitator Certification Training. The old standards allowed us to include all of the three courses required for certification in one program. The new standards require the three courses to be separated, with individual certificates for each course.

Some of you may have enrolled when this change was being made, and are therefore enrolled in both the old and the new programs. This has caused some confusion for students, therefore on March 20, 2024 we will be re-setting the course programs for all enrolled.

This means that we will be deleting the old program entirely and enrolling everyone in the new program. What this means for those enrolled in the old program is that there will now be three courses in your account instead of just the one. The content of the courses have not changed. They have merely been split up into three courses instead of one larger course. The number of hours and the materials will remain the same.

This will only temporarily affect your enrollment in the Mindfulness-Based Ecotherapy Facilitator Certification Program. You may have difficulties logging in on March 20 as we make the change, but after that you should be able to login with no problems. If you are still having difficulties after March 20, please contact me using the form below.

In some cases the re-set may cause you to lose your course progress, so please save any progress prior to the re-set date of March 20. Make a note of where you are in your course(s) prior to March 20 so that should you lose your progress you will still be able to find your place in the new course materials.

I apologize for any inconvenience. This change was required by the National Board for Certified Counselors to keep our standards aligned with their requirements.

If you have any questions please use the form below.

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Process Addictions

process addiction group

A process addiction is similar to a substance addiction, except that instead of being addicted to a drug, the person with a process addiction is addicted to a cluster of behaviors. Examples of process addictions would include eating disorders, sexual addictions, and gambling addictions. A process addiction is an addiction to a process or a pattern of behavior.

Emotional aggression can be a process addiction as well. It tends to be an automatic response to certain emotional states, and the motivation for engaging in emotionally aggressive behaviors is that it can sometimes mimic the ‘high’ of abusing a substance. The brain produces neurotransmitters; chemicals which induce or aid in emotional states. Automatic processes can produce these chemicals. So can drugs. In either case, the ‘user’ is creating an artificially-induced chemical state in order to experience a ‘high.’

There are three major characteristics of any addiction:

Withdrawal – In substance abuse, withdrawal manifests in physiological symptoms related to the substance. A person with alcoholism might wake up with a hangover. A person with a heroin addiction might have the sweats or stomach cramps. A person trying to quit smoking might get irritable or angry. With a process addiction, the person may get nervous, anxious or angry when attempting to give up the behavior.

Tolerance – In substance abuse, tolerance manifests as an increasing need for the substance being used in order to get the same ‘high.’ Suppose the first time I drink I get a buzz off of two or three beers. Then six months or a year later, I need a six-pack or more to get the same high. I’ve developed a tolerance for alcohol. In a process addiction, tolerance manifests as a need to engage in more and more of the same behavior in order to get the same effect. With emotional aggression, I might start out acting in an emotionally aggressive way once or twice a week. Then six months later it might be once or twice a day, then a year later it might be five or six times a day, and so on.

Loss of Control – In substance abuse, loss of control manifests as an inability to keep addictive behaviors from interfering in activities of daily living. I might miss work because of a hangover. I might get in trouble with the law for fighting or other illegal activities to support my habit. In emotional aggression, loss of control manifests in a similar fashion. If I’ve ever gotten fired from a job because of my ‘attitude,’ or if I’ve ever been in legal trouble because of my inability to control my anger,’ then I’ve experienced loss of control.

Signs of a Process Addiction

Below is a list of signs that a Process Addiction may be present. If any of these sound familiar, you may be using emotional aggression as a process addiction:

Withdrawal Cluster

  • When the person tries to stop engaging in emotional aggression, he/she becomes moody, has a bad temper, has difficulty paying attention and concentrating, and experiences depression, emptiness, frustration, anger, bitterness and resentment.
  • Changes in appetite or sleep habits when attempting to stop the behavior. With process addictions, withdrawal can lead to anxiety, depression, trembling or nervous tics, sweating, and in extreme circumstances, to violent tendencies.
  • A person with a process addiction might use other behaviors in an attempt to get the same ‘high,’ such as driving fast or engaging in risky activities in order to get an adrenaline rush.
  • A person with an emotional aggression addiction may feel the need to indulge to start the day. That is, he/she may provoke an argument first thing in the morning in order to feel better.
  • A person with a process addiction to emotional aggression might seek out or provoke opportunities to act in emotionally aggressive ways.

Tolerance Cluster

  • A person with a process addiction to emotional aggression may feel that they need to be able to behave this way in order to deal with their problems.
  • A person with a process addiction to emotional aggression may spend more and more time and energy focusing on ways of provoking a situation that will give them an opportunity to act out in emotionally aggressive ways.
  • Many people who are addicted to emotional aggression are in denial. They are either unaware that they have a problem, or they refuse to acknowledge it, preferring to blame their own behavior on others.
  • As the addiction to emotional aggression progresses the person may stop doing things they once enjoyed, or if they engage in those activities, they no longer find them enjoyable.
  • The need to engage in emotional aggression becomes more important than relationships. This often manifests in the need to be ‘right’ all the time, even at the expense of the relationship.

Loss of Control Cluster

  • The individual continues engaging in emotional aggression on a regular basis, even though they are aware of the consequences to family, work, and social circles.
  • The person cannot stop the behavior. At least one serious attempt was made to give up, but the person was unsuccessful. A person who cannot control their physical aggression is a danger to themselves and to others. In extreme cases, when they totally lose control of their behavior, institutionalization may be necessary.
  • Some activities are given up because of an addiction to the process. A person with a process addiction to emotional aggression might turn down social opportunities because of a fear of not being able to regulate their behavior.
  • In some cases the person with a process addiction might make take risks to make sure he/she can continue to engage in emotional aggression. They might quit a job because the boss complained about their attitude. They might leave a relationship because the other person complained about the way they were being treated.
  • A person with a process addiction to emotional aggression may have legal troubles. This could be the result of vandalism during a fit of rage, or physical or sexual abuse committed against others, or of indulging in illegal activities in an effort to regulate moods. This could also include abusing substances as a method of emotional regulation.

If you checked off more than two items from each category above, you may have a process addiction to emotional aggression. If all three elements of withdrawal, tolerance, and loss of control are present, then the emotionally aggressive person has a process addiction to emotional aggression.

The Process Addiction Cycle

The process addiction to emotional aggression manifests in the Addiction Cycle. The Addiction Cycle for process addictions is similar to the Addiction Cycle for substance abuse addictions. The Substance Abuse Addiction Cycle contains five major elements. Those elements are:

  1. Emotional Trigger – There is a problem with emotional regulation that triggers the craving cycle
  2. Craving – Due to the emotional difficulty, the individual begins to crave a substance in order to regulate the emotions
  3. Ritual – The person engages in rituals associated with the addictive behavior
  4. Using – The person succumbs to the craving and uses the substance
  5. Guilt – After indulging in the substance, the person feels guilty about being unable to control their behavior

There is also an addiction cycle for process addictions. In a process addiction, the emotional trigger is not subdued by a substance. Instead, it is subdued by the chemicals produced by the brain during a cycle of emotional aggression.
The steps of the Process Addiction Cycle are as follows:

  1. Emotional Trigger – There is a problem with emotional regulation that triggers the craving cycle
  2. Craving – In the case of a process addiction, due to the emotional difficulty, the individual begins to crave or desire to act in an emotionally aggressive way in order to regulate the emotions that triggered the cycle
  3. Automatic Processes (Ritual) – The person engages in rituals associated with the cycle of emotional aggression
  4. Emotional Aggression (Using) – The person succumbs to the craving and acts out in an emotionally aggressive way
  5. Guilt – After indulging in an episode of emotional aggression, the person feels guilty about being unable to control their behavior

In a process addiction, the emotional trigger is ‘regulated’ by engaging in emotional aggression. But this tendency to indulge in emotional aggression is a short-term fix with damaging long-term consequences. Indulging in the cycle leads to damaged or broken relationships, which then cause the need to indulge in the cycle even more. The guilt caused by an act of emotional aggression is usually enough to trigger another emotional response, which then leads to even more emotionally aggressive acting out.

We’ve already discussed the idea of primary vs. secondary emotions, in which the secondary emotion is the emotion that it is safe to express. The key to stopping the Process Addiction Cycle is in finding the primary emotions that start the cycle. Once they have been identified, it becomes easier to acknowledge them without feeling the need to indulge in the craving by responding in emotionally aggressive ways.

By identifying the primary emotions that serve as triggers, we can choose not to act in emotionally aggressive ways. We may instead use our mindful skills to sit quietly with those feelings in the present moment, reminding ourselves that there is no need to ‘do’ anything in order to make the feeling go away. If we are able to sit quietly with the feeling until it subsides, we have learned how to simply ‘be.’

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NOW AVAILABLE: Ecospirituality Workbook!

Ecospirituality Workbook Cover Photo Ecospirituality Group Facilitator Certification Program

Click here to purchase

The Ecospirituality Workbook is now available at Amazon and at Elder Grove Media!

As the human race has become increasingly urbanized, we have come to spend less and less time in natural settings. Many of us now live in cities or suburbs rather than in rural areas. Even so, we still hear the calls of nature. The wilderness cries out to something in our blood. Although the industrial revolution forced us into an urban way of living, we were creatures of the wilderness for millennia before that. Evolution has hardwired our brains for the wild.
This ecospirituality program is based in part on the principles of deep ecology.

Arne Naess was a Norwegian philosopher and founder of the Deep Ecology movement. He cited Rachel Carson’s book Silent Spring (a book about how pesticides like DDT upset the delicate balance of nature) as instrumental in his development of the philosophy of deep ecology, which states that humans are not privileged above other living things and that all living things should be treated with equal respect and equal ethical consideration. Naess believed that all living things have an equal right to thrive and to survive.

The Ecospirituality Workbook is based in part on Deep Ecology. The Deep Ecology movement founded by Naess echoes the Gaia Hypothesis, which says that the Earth herself is a living thing and we are all a part of the much larger organism that is Gaia, the Earth. Although NASA scientist James Lovelock is credited with creating the Gaia Hypothesis, Native Americans, and other indigenous peoples all over the world, had such a concept for thousands of years before Lovelock came along.

Scientists are in the process of rediscovering what the indigenous peoples of the Earth knew all along: That the planet is a living organism and that we are all a part of the web of life. We are all connected. This idea of the interconnectedness of all things is what Naess meant by “deep ecology,” and deep ecology is at its core a spiritual movement.

If we are all connected, then what we do to the web of life, we do to ourselves. If we poison the water, then we drink the water, we take the poison into ourselves. If we pollute the food with pesticides, then eat the food, we take the pesticides into our own bodies. If we pollute the air, then breathe in the air, we take our own pollutants into our lungs. If we fatten our beef animals with hormones, then eat the beef, we take the hormones into ourselves. If we poison the minds and souls of our neighbors with hatred, anger, and bitterness, then interact with those neighbors in negative ways, we take hatred, anger, and bitterness into ourselves as well.

The deep ecology of The Ecospirituality Workbook teaches us to be one with nature. This oneness with nature is the ultimate form of spirituality. This is true even for agnostics or atheists. We don’t have to believe in supernatural beings to realize that nature is something larger and more transcendent than ourselves. The “divinity” in ecospirituality is nature itself. This is true whether or not we choose to personify nature as a separate, conscious, and divine entity.

We are all interdependent, and ecospirituality teaches us that if we cannot live in a sustainable, ecological way, then the human race will have no future. This planet has limited resources, and we currently don’t have anywhere else to go. Eventually everything will run out, and when this happens, how will we survive? The only way that the human race can survive is to embrace a way of life that honors all life on the planet. Such a way of life is what ecospirituality entails.

What is ecospirituality?

The word “spiritual” comes from the Latin spiritus, which means, “breath.” Originally, that which was spiritual was simply that which was breathtaking. From this perspective a spiritual experience is an awe-inspiring experience. People of all religions…or none…can experience such awe-inspiring events. You can be spiritual without being religious. Spirituality doesn’t rely on a set system of teachings or dogmas. Spirituality is the joy of being present in the moment and experiencing the awe and wonder of living.

In my own personal experience, those breathtaking moments most often occur when I have made some sort of connection. It could be a connection with nature, or with others, or with my own inner self. Such a connection opens up a channel of communication, or perhaps communion. Such a connection allows me to feel that I am a part of everything, and everything is a part of me. It produces a sense of oneness with the universe. It is the ultimate sense of connection.

For the purposes of this program and this workbook, ecospirituality is broken down into twelve distinct skills. These skills are created to foster that sense of connection to nature, to others, and to your own higher self. Each session of the The Ecospirituality Workbook and the Ecospirituality Program will review and teach one of these skills. A description of each of these skills follows.

 
The Twelve Skills of the Ecospirituality Workbook

The Ecospirituality Workbook focuses on achieving mindful states in nature. It is through these moments of connection that ecospirituality works its magic. There are twelve skills of ecospirituality. The first six skills are mindful skills. The remaining six skills are ecospirituality skills.

The Ecospirituality Workbook Session 1: Mindful Awareness

Mindful Awareness is a way of tuning in to what is happening right now, at this moment. Most of the anxiety we experience in life is either about things that happened in the past or things that may or may not happen in the future. When we learn to live in the present moment, we can make conscious choices in the present about what anxious thoughts and feelings to give our attention to, and which to let go of.

The Ecospirituality Workbook Session 2: Living in the Now

Living in the Now means allowing yourself to be in this moment, here and now. It is a shift from Doing Mode into Being Mode. The present is really the only time you can ever experience. The past is gone, and the future has not yet arrived. Here in the now is when we can make positive changes in our lives by making conscious choices about our lives and about our place in the world.

The Ecospirituality Workbook Session 3: Letting Go

Ecospirituality teaches us how to let go of stress and anxiety through the power of mindful acceptance. Mindful acceptance is the knowledge of the concept that we must accept the things we cannot change. It is the realization that we cannot change others, therefore we can only change ourselves. When we have learned mindful acceptance, we have learned the art of Letting Go.

The Ecospirituality Workbook Session 4: Radical Acceptance

Acceptance teaches us that we are not our thoughts, and that we are not our emotions. We are something different. That something different is the True Self. Radical acceptance teaches us that it’s not our circumstances that cause us anxiety. It’s what we choose to believe about our circumstances that causes anxiety. When we can accept what we feel without the need to respond or react in ways that lead to negative consequences, we have learned Radical Acceptance.

The Ecospirituality Workbook Session 5: Wise Mind and Wise Body

Wise Mind is the joining of Rational Mind and Emotional Mind in balance and harmony. When we can balance Rational Mind and Emotional Mind, we will achieve Wise Mind. From Wise Mind we gain the wisdom to know what we can change and what we must accept. Wise Body is the acceptance that mind and body are one and the same. By paying attention to what our bodies tell us about our emotional states, we can choose in the present how to respond. When we accomplish this, we have mastered Wise Body.

The Ecospirituality Workbook Session 6: Centering

We all have two concepts of self: The perceived self and the ideal self. The perceived self is how we see ourselves now. The ideal self is who we wish to be. It is our highest aspiration for ourselves. The closer together the perceived self and the ideal self are, the fewer problems we have. The further apart they are, the more the perceived self asks, “why can’t I be more like my ideal self?” The True Self is the person we would be if we could get out of our own way. It is the highest form of the ideal self. Centering allows you to connect with your own True Self through ecospiritual exercises. The more centered you are, the more your perceived self and your True Self integrate and align. The more this happens, the more we are able to live the lives we were meant to.

The Ecospirituality Workbook Session 7: Connecting

The original meaning of “spiritual” was “that which is breathtaking.” From this perspective, spiritual moments are those awe-inspiring, breathtaking moments we all experience from time to time. Spirituality is all about connectedness. Ecospirituality can help you achieve personal spiritual growth through fostering a sense of connection to nature, to others, and to your own True Self. In short, Connecting facilitates spiritual experiences.

The Ecospirituality Workbook Session 8: Nature as Metaphor

We all have personal stories called “my life.” These personal narratives are the fables we tell ourselves about what our lives mean and where they’re going. If our stories are going well, then we generally have no problems. On the other hand, if our personal narratives aren’t going well, we tend to develop problems. The good news about the story of our lives is that we are the only authors. If we don’t like the way the story is going, we have the power to rewrite it at any time. Ecospirituality teaches you how to pay attention to your own stories and to change them if you wish by using Nature as Metaphor.

The Ecospirituality Workbook Session 9: Nature as Teacher

Our ancestors lived at peace with nature. They knew the seasons. They knew when to sow and when to reap. They knew how to read the weather by signs. The lessons our ancestors learned about nature haven’t gone away. They’re still there, waiting in the forest like an open book. All we have to do is to learn how to read it using Nature as Teacher. When we allow nature to teach us in this manner, we unlock a powerful tool to discover more about nature and about ourselves through ecospirituality.

The Ecospirituality Workbook Session 10: Nature as Nurture

People who go into the woods become calmer, more relaxed, less stressful, and healthier. Ecospirituality can be used to tap into the nurturing and healing power of nature. When we allow nature to nurture us, we are healed. When we nurture the nature around us, we set up a reciprocal cycle of nurturing that allows us to become one with nature. When we learn this skill, we are able to embrace Nature as Nurture.

The Ecospirituality Workbook Session 11: Nature as Healer

Anyone who has ever gone on a vacation or even just a walk in the woods or in a park, or enjoyed the company of an animal companion, knows that nature has the power to heal. Ecospirituality helps you to connect to the healing power of nature using evidence-based activities in natural environments. This skill allows you to accept the power of Nature as Healer.

The Ecospirituality Workbook Session 12: Living in True Self

The ultimate goal of the Ecospirituality program is to realize and acknowledge your True Self, and to live in it. Doing so allows you the opportunity to re-connect in positive ways with nature, with others, and with yourself. When you learn to do so, you will be Living in True Self; the person you were born to be.

The Ecospirituality Facilitator Certification Program will be available in late summer of 2024! Sign up for our newsletter now to be informed when the program is released!

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The Cost-Benefit Analysis Worksheet

Cost-Benefit Analysis Acceptance and Change

The Cost-Benefit Analysis Worksheet can help with difficult choices. Our choices are a consequence of what we can change and what we have to accept. Mindful acceptance teaches us that we can only change ourselves, not others. If others in our lives are causing problems yet they are unwilling to change, then we either have to accept that fact or end the relationship. We can only be responsible for what we can change, which is our own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Once I have accepted the fact that the only person I can change is myself, then my choices should reflect this knowledge.

The first step in learning to accept the choices of others is to assess your patterns of avoidant behaviors. Avoidant behaviors are any behaviors that are attempts to avoid taking responsibility for your own emotional states. Once these patterns of avoidant behavior have been identified, the next step in making good choices is to reframe those behaviors into patterns of acceptance.

What do avoidant behaviors look like? Suppose I am angry with my wife about something, but I don’t want to tell her because I don’t like conflict. That’s an avoidant behavior. So I hold it in and bite my tongue until I can’t stand it any longer, and then I explode in a fit of angry emotional aggression. Here’s how to turn this situation into an acceptance strategy by reframing the avoidant behavior:

In this case, the avoidant behavior is withholding communication because of a fear of conflict. What exactly am I afraid of? Am I afraid that if I tell her I’m angry, it’s going to make her angry in return? Am I afraid that she will think it’s silly that I’m angry about whatever it is? Am I afraid that she might even leave me if I share my feelings with her?

By figuring out exactly why I’m avoiding the issue, I can change it to a more accepting strategy through mindful acceptance. If I’m afraid that if I tell her that I’m angry, it’s going to make her angry in return, I could accept the fact that she is responsible for her own emotional reactions. If I’m afraid that she will think my anger is silly, I can instead accept that I’m entitled to my feelings regardless of what her opinion of them might be. In fact, her feelings are none of my business! If I’m afraid that she might even leave me if I share my feelings with her, then I can accept that I probably don’t need to be in a relationship with someone who won’t respect my right to feel the way I feel.

Are any of the choices you make in your relationships really attempts to engage in avoidant behaviors? If so, what ways could you reframe the beliefs that led to those behaviors so that you might be able to achieve mindful acceptance instead of having to avoid the issue?

Here are some common avoidant behaviors to look for:

  • Blame-shifting: Attempting to avoid personal responsibility by blaming others
  • Blamestorming: Blaming everyone and everything instead of accepting the situation as it really is
  • Emotional Aggression: Attempting to avoid personal responsibility by getting others to be responsible
  • Patterns of Control: Attempting to control others in order to avoid having to control yourself

The Cost-Benefit Analysis

A difficulty with choices is that once our assumptions about life have set our perception filter in a certain way, it’s sometimes hard to see the evidence on the other side of the coin. To make better choices, however, we need to be aware of evidence both in favor of and against a decision. The Cost-Benefit Analysis Worksheet is a way to re-set our perception filter by forcing ourselves to look at all the evidence both in favor of, and against, a decision.

There are four boxes on the Cost-Benefit Analysis Tool. At the top of the Tool there is a line for “Decision to be made.” On this line, write the decision that is being evaluated. For example, suppose you are contemplating whether or not to stay married. On the “decision to be made” line, you’d write, “stay married.”

Next, in the left-hand column there are two rows: “Benefits of doing this” and “benefits of not doing this.” In the “benefits of doing this” box you would write down all the benefits of staying married that you could think of. In the “benefits of not doing this” you would list all of the benefits of not staying married that you could think of. If you need extra paper, use a notebook. The goal here is to think of as many reasons as you can in both boxes.

Next, in the right-hand column, there is a row for “costs of doing this,” and a row for “costs of not doing this.” In the “costs of doing this” box, list all of the costs of staying married you can think of. Note that this isn’t necessarily talking about financial costs. This is also talking about emotional costs. Then in the next row, “costs of not doing this,” list as many costs as you can think of for not staying married.

Once you’ve listed as many reasons as you can think of in all of the appropriate columns, the next thing to do is to ‘score’ each item. The reason for assigning a score to each item is that some items are more important than others. When I got out of graduate school I was offered a job in New York. There were plenty of reasons for moving to New York, but only one reason for not moving to New York: My daughter lived with her mother, and if I moved to New York I’d only get to see her once a year. So that one item outweighed all the others.

So the reason for giving scores to each item is so that you can ‘weigh’ each item based on its importance to you.
Finally, you tally up all the scores in each column, and the high score ‘wins.’ That is, the column with the highest score should theoretically be the column upon which to base your decision.

A word of caution is in order here: Don’t just do this once and base your decision on a single result. The best way to evaluate the results is to do it several times over a period of days or weeks. Here’s why: Suppose I have a fight with my wife, and then I do a CBA Worksheet based on staying married vs. getting a divorce. Obviously if I’ve just had a fight with my wife, my answers are probably going to be a little skewed. So if I do this Cost-Benefit Analysis again and again over a period of time, my emotions regarding the decision are going to have a tendency to even out, and the average result is going to be the decision that I should make.

The Cost-Benefit Analysis Worksheet

Try a Cost-Benefit Analysis Worksheet now for practice. The goal here is to focus on the evidence both for and against the decision to be made. By seeing both sides of the issue, you are re-setting your perception filter so that you may challenge assumptions that are leading to consequences you don’t want.

You can download a copy of the CBA Worksheet by clicking the link below.

CBA Worksheet
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AIM for Happiness

Ecospirituality Group Program

What is your aim in life? Are your beliefs helping you to achieve your aim? Sometimes we can’t see the forest for the trees. We let our beliefs get in the way.

Our beliefs are a result of our thoughts and feelings. Our choices are a result of our beliefs. If our choices are leading to consequences that we don’t want, we can consciously change those thoughts and beliefs to create consequences that we do want. The easiest way to make better choices is to take a solution-focused approach using the power of intention. Before making any choice, first ask yourself, “What is my intention? Is the choice I’m about to make going to achieve my intention, or is it going to make things worse?”

By focusing on solutions instead of problems we make better choices. We can consciously choose which beliefs to hold to, and which beliefs to change.

The consequences we get in life are based on how we choose act upon our beliefs. Those choices lead to behaviors. If our choices are leading us to behave in emotionally aggressive ways, it may be time to make different choices! Remember, if what you’re doing isn’t working, doing more of the same isn’t likely to work either!

AIM: Choices and Beliefs

Our beliefs (memes) are a result of our thoughts and assumptions about the way the world works. Our choices are the result of our beliefs (memes). We make choices that we believe will support our intentions. The consequences we get in life are based on how we act upon our beliefs (behavior). If our choices are supporting our intentions, then we’ve made the right choices. But if our choices are not accomplishing our intentions, it is time to change something.
Choices consist of three separate elements: Assumptions, Intentions, and Motivations.

Here’s a description of these three elements:

Assumptions
Assumptions are educated guesses that we make about the meaning and purpose of events and circumstances. If these assumptions are supporting our intentions, then nothing needs to change; but if our assumptions are leading us to make poor choices, we may wish to re-evaluate those assumptions to see if they reflect the reality of the situation. By challenging unproductive assumptions, we are able to change them so that we can get the results we want.

Intentions
Our intentions are the goals we set for our lives. Our choices should reflect these goals. If our choices are not supporting our intentions, then we should either re-examine our choices, or change our intentions. If we are continually making choices that don’t support our stated intentions, we may need to be honest with ourselves about our true intentions in making those choices.

Motivations
Our motivations are the rewards we get for making the choices we make. This is true even if those choices seem to be leading to negative consequences. All behavior is purposeful. By seeking out the true motivations for our behaviors and choices, we are better able to be honest with ourselves so that we can find more appropriate rewards.

For example, acting in emotionally aggressive ways may appear to lead to poor consequences, and poor consequences may seem like poor motivators. But could it be that when we act in emotionally aggressive ways that the hidden reward is that we don’t have to take responsibility for our own emotional states? By finding these hidden motivations we are better able to make choices that lead to better rewards.

AIM for Happiness

If we learn to make choices that allow us to be responsible for our own happiness, then there is no need to act in emotionally aggressive ways in an attempt to get others to be responsible for our happiness. One way to learn to make choices that lead to happiness is to examine our assumptions, intentions and motivations in a given situation. These elements work together to help us determine the proper choices to make in order to achieve our life goals.

The AIM for Happiness tool below allows us to analyze our assumptions, intentions and motivations so that we can make better choices. The problem-focused AIM Worksheet looks at assumptions, intentions and motivations that might be contributing to the tendency to make poor choices.

The solution-focused AIM Worksheet tool us to think about some assumptions, intentions and motivations that might lead to better choices.

AIM for Happiness Tool

Assumptions: If you’re facing a problem, the first question to ask yourself is, “What assumptions am I making that might be contributing to the problem?”

For example, suppose you have a partner, and you’d like your partner to share more of his/her feelings with you. You might assume that constantly asking your partner to share feelings might be the way to achieve this goal, but what if instead it’s only making your partner ‘clam up’ even more?

Intentions: The next question to ask yourself is, “What is my intention?” What are you trying to accomplish? Are your assumptions and motivations working together to help you accomplish your intention? If not, what would need to change about your assumptions and motivations in order to achieve your intention?

If what you’re doing isn’t working to accomplish your intention, is it possible to do something different?

Motivations: Finally, ask yourself, “What is my motivation here?”

All behavior is purposeful. This means that people only engage in a behavior if there’s a reward for it. This is even true of seemingly detrimental behaviors like substance abuse or emotional addictions. If we examine our motivations, we can truly be honest with ourselves about why we tend to engage in certain patterns of behavior. If we change our motivation, does it change our intention? Does it change the underlying assumptions?

To use the AIM for Happiness Tool, think about these questions:

  1. How many of the assumptions you listed were internally motivated? That is, how many of your assumptions were about making choices to change your own behaviors and beliefs?
  2. How many of the assumptions you listed were externally motivated? That is, how many of your assumption were about getting other people to change their behaviors and beliefs?
  3. How many of your intentions were internally motivated? That is, how many of your intentions were about things you have the power to change by making better choices?
  4. How many of your intentions were externally motivated? That is, how many of your intentions were about what other people choose to do?
  5. How many of your motivations were internally motivated? That is, how many of your motivations were about rewards you were choosing for yourself?
  6. How many of your motivations were externally motivated? That is, how many of your motivations were rewards you expect other people to choose to give to you?
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Why We Don’t Support Facebook or X-Twitter

Boycott Facebook and X-Twitter

You may have noticed that the Mindful Ecotherapy Center, LLC does not have a Facebook or a Twitter presence. There are multiple reasons for this, but the main reason is that both of those platforms are discriminatory against the LGBTQ+ community, women, and other minorities.

The American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) had this to say about Facebook:

When we spoke on social media about our experience, other LGBTQ people shared similar stories of being censored by Facebook. These are not isolated incidents. In fact, we learned that Facebook has a history of censoring LGBTQ advertisers. And Facebook’s problems are not limited to the LGBTQ community, Black creators documenting police violence have recently seen their pages temporarily taken down completely. Facebook calls these “mistakes” but isn’t doing enough to stop them from happening again.

Facebook is a platform that claims to connect people, so why does their platform silence LGBTQ voices and prevent them from connecting with their communities? Facebook has a responsibility to represent everyone in a fair and just manner. That means addressing how the LGBTQ community can feel at home on Facebook when the platform appears to discriminate against members of our community for showing who we are.

Twitter, now known as “X”, or as I like to call it, X-Twitter, is no better.

According to a story from PBS, Twitter is the LEAST SAFE for the LGBTQ+ community:

GLAAD’s scorecard called it “the most dangerous platform for LGBTQ people” and the only one that saw its scores decline from last year.

Twitter ‘s communications staff was eradicated after Musk took over the company and for months inquiries to the press office have been answered only an automated reply of a poop emoji, as was the case when The Associated Press reached out to the company for comment.

LGBTQ+ advocates have long warned that online hate and harassment can lead to violence offline. But even when it does not, online abuse can take a toll on a person’s mental health.

“There isn’t a week that goes by that we don’t have a doxxing situation for somebody in our community that we have to come in and help them stop it and stop the hate, stop the vitriol and stop the attacks,” said GLAAD CEO and President Sarah Kate Ellis referring to the malicious practice that involves gathering private or identifying information and releasing it online without the person’s permission, usually in an attempt to harass, threaten, shame or exact revenge. “It’s really been amped up to a level that we’ve never seen before.”

On Twitter, attacks on LGBTQ+ users have increased substantially since Elon Musk took over the company last fall, according to multiple advocacy groups.

For this reason, the Mindful Ecotherapy Center, LLC does not now have, nor will we ever have, either a Facebook or a Twitter profile. We support our LGBTQ+ community as well as all minority communities, and will always advocate for LGBTQ+ and other minority rights.

If you would like to join us by boycotting either or both platforms, please feel free to tell us about it in the comments below!

You might also wish to contact Facebook and Twitter and let them know how you feel about their policies. The contact information is below for both platforms.

Facebook Complaints

Dial the Facebook Customer Service Phone Number (844)-457-0351 to reach Facebook directly.

Using +1-(844)-457-0351, you can complain to Facebook directly. This number is available 24 hours a day and seven days a week.

Ways to Contact Facebook Support

Select Report a problem
If you face platform problems, you can report it directly to the Facebook team. This can be done by choosing “Report a Problem” under the Help menu.

Facebook Support Phone Number
The Facebook Customer Support Number is 844-457-0351, and users can use this number to speak directly to a live person.

Facebook Support Email
Use support@fb.com to get general support from Facebook.
Send an email to press@fb.com if you need press-related inquiries.
Users can use appeals@fb.com to appeal against blocked content.
You can report content against Facebook’s guidelines via abuse@fb.com.
Write an email to ip@fb.com to resolve intellectual property-related queries.

Offline Facebook support
If you cannot file a complaint through the above methods, you can write a letter and send it to the following address:

Facebook Headquarters
1 Hacker Way
Menlo Park, CA 94025
United States of America

1-844-457-0351


Can you email Facebook about a complaint?
Yes, you can email the Facebook team regarding a complaint. Use the platformcs@support.facebook.com address to reach them regarding any financial issues related to your account. You can also use abuse@fb.com to report anything on Facebook against the Facebook Community Standards.

Dial the Facebook Support Number 1-844-457-0351 to contact Facebook customer service directly. This number will let you speak directly to a live person on Facebook.

X-Twitter

Unfortunately, Twitter doesn’t care enough about its users to offer a direct way to file a complaint. The best you can do is follow the information below, but be aware that you probably won’t get a response.

There is no way to contact X by phone, email, or DM directly, but you can create a support ticket at

https://help.twitter.com/en/forms

You might try contacting their advertising department should you decide to boycott X-Twitter.

To reach X’s advertising support team, fill out a form at

https://ads.twitter.com/en/help

You might also inform their investor team and let them know you’re planning a boycott.
You can reach this department at

https://investor.twitterinc.com/contact/default.aspx

If you decide to take action, please let us know how it turned out! Both Facebook and X-Twitter have been notorious about not responding to customer concerns. But together we can make a difference! When it starts affecting their bottom line, only then will they change! Contact us and let us know what you think!

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Choices and Ruminating Cycles

Snowballing ruminating cycle

Our choices are sometimes a result of our ruminating cycles. Have you ever had a thought that led to another thought, and then another, and so on until your thoughts are snowballing out of control? If so, you’ve experienced a ruminating cycle. When we make choices after engaging in ruminating cycles like this, our choices aren’t usually the type of decisions that yield positive consequences.

Sometimes we make choices in an effort to quell such ruminations. When that happens, those choices may not produce the optimal outcome.

This is because our beliefs are a result of our thoughts and feelings. If our beliefs and choices are leading us to experience consequences that we don’t want, we can learn consciously change those thoughts and beliefs to create consequences that we do want. Poor choices are the result of negative cycles. Stress and anxiety are also usually the results of negative ruminating cycles.

Ruminating Cycle Exercise

Think about a time when you had a negative cycle and acted on it. How did the choices you made lead to consequences you didn’t want? It may help to write down that cycle on a piece of paper, using as much detail as possible. Feel free to get as personal as necessary to complete the exercise.

Here are the instructions for writing down your negative snowballing cycle:

  1. In the circle in the center of the page, write down the trigger that began the negative cycle. What happened that started the negative thought process? What did you think about what happened?
  2. Next, look at the trigger in the center circle, and write down the first thing that comes to mind. Write it next to the circle, and draw a circle around that thought and connect it back to the center circle.
  3. Now write down the next thing that comes to mind when you think about your trigger statement, and write it down as well. Draw a circle around it and connect it back to the center circle as well.
  4. Continue this process until you can’t think of anything else, or until the center circle is surrounded by other circled thoughts.
  5. Next, pick one of those circled thoughts and think about the first thing that comes to mind in response to that thought. Write it in a circle and connect it back to the thought that originated it.
  6. Go on in a similar fashion, listing all the thoughts in your ruminating cycle and linking them back to the thoughts that spawned them. Work outward in concentric ‘circles of circles’ until complete.

Choices and Ruminations

Triggers can lead to ruminating cycles if we choose to let them. Negative ruminating cycles can lead to poor choices, and poor choices can lead to adverse consequences. The more steps in a ruminating cycle we can identify, the more opportunities we have to change them or to stop them completely!
Refer to the Ruminating Cycle Graph you just completed in the previous exercise, and answer the following questions:

  • What are the triggers that activate your ruminating cycle?
  • What assumptions are sustaining your snowballing?
  • What perceptions are sustaining your cycle?
  • What feelings are sustaining your ruminating cycle?
  • What thoughts are sustaining your snowballing?
  • What beliefs are sustaining your cycle?
  • What physiological cues are sustaining your ruminating cycle?
  • What choices are sustaining your negative cycles?
  • What are the consequences of sustaining your snowballing?
  • What is your intention in engaging in this negative cycle?

Look at your answers to the questions above. Which of these answers would help you to either stop your negative ruminating cycle or to change it to a positive ruminating cycle? Why?