The Tombstone Test can help you to live with confidence in your True Self. Your True Self is the person you would be if you were always living up to your best aspirations for yourself. It probably goes without saying that if you are living fully in your True Self, that you have a good sense of self-identity. True Self […]
The Tombstone Test
Stick FAST to Your CORE
Stick FAST to your CORE is a way to set boundaries and to be aware of your own True Self. This awareness allows you to make decisions about compromise issues vs. core issues. A core issue is one in which, if you compromised on it, you’d have to give up a bit of who you are. A core issue has […]
The Litany Against Fear
I must not fear.Fear is the mind-killer.Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.I will face my fear.I will permit it to pass over me and through me.And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.Only I will remain. Litany Against Fear from Frank Herbert’s […]
Consequences and Letting Go
Consequences and letting go is about recognizing the choices we make that lead to consequences we don’t want to experience. Such choices have a tendency to be self-sustaining. That is because we usually make choices in the belief that those choices will make the problem better. But if we continue to make choices that we know aren’t going to make […]
Mindful Self-Control
“Happiness is the absence of the pursuit of happiness.” –Chuang Tsu Self-control is a requirement for happiness. This quote by Chuang Tsu reminds us that if we are happy, there is no need to pursue happiness, and that if we are pursuing happiness, then it is obvious that we must not be happy! So how can self-control lead to happiness? […]
Body Communications
Body communications are a way of learning about how our bodies respond to emotional situations. Automatic processes are processes that we have engaged in so often that we don’t even have to think about them anymore. Remember when you first learned to drive a car? You were probably nervous, trying to remember all the rules of the road, what all […]
Internal Validation vs. External Validation
`“If it’s never our fault, we can’t take responsibility for it. If we can’t take responsibility for it, we’ll always be its victim.”` -Richard Bach, author Internal Validation is the art of validating ourselves. We all like to be validated. It’s why we have relationships in the first place. We enter relationships so that others can support us emotionally. This […]
Aggressive vs. Assertive Communication
In mindful communication, we learn to communicate in ways that are assertive rather than aggressive. By setting firm boundaries in non-aggressive ways, our interactions with others become assertive without resulting in hurt feelings, arguments, or conflict. If setting boundaries does lead to conflict, learning to be assertive rather than aggressive allows us to find peaceful and productive resolutions to differences […]
Externalization: Experiencing the Person, not the Problem
One way to live a life of compassion is to see the person, not the problem. This is done through externalization. If we are able to take the viewpoint that the person is separate from the problem, then we are able to experience the person, and not the problem. Such a perception sees the person as separate from the problem. […]
Living in True Self
The humanist psychotherapist Carl Rogers spoke of the ideas of Self-Image and Ideal Self. This Self-Image, sometimes referred to as the Perceived Self, is the way we perceive ourselves to be. The Ideal Self is the image we have of how we would like to be. Living in True Self means consciously choosing to be your Ideal Self as much […]
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