Externalization: Experiencing the Person, not the Problem

One way to live a life of compassion is to see the person, not the problem. This is done through externalization. If we are able to take the viewpoint that the person is separate from the problem, then we are able to experience the person, and not the problem. Such a perception sees the person as separate from the problem. […]

Don’t Lose Your Marbles!

A fun way to practice mindfulness is the “Don’t Lose Your Marbles” exercise.The purpose of this exercise is to become aware of how many times throughout the day we have negative thoughts about ourselves and our families. As we become aware of that pattern of negative thoughts, we can replace them with positive, more compassionate thoughts. Those positive thoughts lead […]

Creating a Positive Reality

“Focus on the doughnut, not the hole!” -Dr. Garry Landreth The way to be compassionate every day is to create a positive reality around you. Instead of focusing on the ‘hole’ of what you don’t have, focus on the ‘doughnut’ of what you do have. One way to do this is to create a positive ruminating cycle by identifying a […]

Wise Mind and Being Non-judgmental

Wise Mind is a stable balance between Emotional Mind and Rational Mind. Emotional aggression comes solely from Emotional Mind. Emotional aggression is emotion run rampant. Emotional avoidance, on the other hand, comes solely from Rational Mind. It is devoid of emotion. Rational Mind can be cold and unfeeling, and in response to emotional aggression, Rational Mind results in an emotional […]

The Mask of Anger

At this time of year we like to dress up and often wear masks. But there are other kinds of mask that we sometimes wear to hide our emotions. One of these emotional masks is the mask of anger. Anger is almost always a mask for deeper emotions. When we are angry, that anger is usually the result of failed […]

Emotional Regulation

Successful mood management comes from successful emotional regulation. Emotional regulation means recognizing patterns of emotional aggression and stopping the cycle of emotional aggression before it starts. This means becoming aware of and attuned to your own cycles of emotions. Before you can become attuned to your own cycles of emotional behavior, you must first be able to identify your emotions. […]

Mindfulness – The River

Our thoughts and feelings are a river. What does this river look like? As we’ve discussed often, mindfulness means paying attention to the present moment, with intention. There are six skills involved in mindfulness. These are: Would these skills help you to recognize that your emotional states are simply processes of the mind? Would these skills help you to identify […]

Acceptance vs. Change

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.” -The Serenity Prayer of Reinhold Niebuhr Many of us are familiar with the Serenity Prayer. It deals with the dialectic of Acceptance vs. Change. This dialectic may be illustrated as follows: One of the skills […]