What did you learn about yourself in the previous exercise? Were you surprised by anything you learned?
Now go back to your list of personal truths, and put a check mark beside the ones that are helpful. Circle the ones that are less helpful. Take the less helpful ones, the ones you have circled, and try to change them into more positive personal truths in the space below. For example, one of the personal truths you listed might say, “All my relationships end in disaster.”
A more positive way of stating this might be: “In the past, I’ve had relationships that have disappointed me, but I choose to learn from my mistakes and move on so that I may grow as a person.”
A few pointers to look for while rephrasing these statements:
Try to avoid rephrasing in ways that are global, external, and permanent. A global statement is one that is true in all situations at all times.
An example of global thinking would be, “I am an unlovable person.” A better way to phrase it might be, “I am a lovable person who sometimes does unlovable things.”
An external statement would be one in which your personal truth is derived from circumstances which are beyond your control; i.e., things external to you. An example would be, “People treat me with disrespect.”
While this may be true on occasion, you really have no control over how other people treat you. The behavior of others is an external event beyond your control. What you can control is how you react to the way you are treated. One way to rephrase the above statement would be, “I can’t change the way others treat me, but I can change the way I react to them.”
A permanent statement is one that assumes that this is the way things have always been, and this is the way they will always be. An example would be, “I can’t help it, that’s just the way I am.” One possible way to rephrase that statement would be, “I’ve usually reacted a certain way in the past, but I am in control of my life, and from this moment forward, I choose to react in a different manner this time and every time in the future so that I may get different results.”
Think about your circled responses from the previous page, then go on to the next exercise, Positive Affirmations of My Personal Truths.
Rephrase all of your circled responses on the worksheet below so that they are positive affirmations rather than negative ones. Remember to keep away from global, external, and permanent thinking.
